The Start to Unwavering Optimism

It’s the perfect dreary day. The sky is light grey and the mountains are being dusted with snow as small rain drops dampen the pine needles here. I thought there is no better day to start writing again then today!

So here goes. I have been thinking a lot lately about writing a book about my life and lessons learned… kind of a memoir meets positive outcomes. While figuring out how to put it all together I am just going to write about life and my memories. Hopefully you will find some joy, laughter, and hope for yourself. 🙂

Sometime in 10th grade:
How do you pick up the phone or send an email after 3 years of not being able to have any contact with your mom? Nothing had happened, no crimes were committed that would have locked either party up. It simply came down to my dad blocking her from my life- the same way he has erased me from my little sisters life(another story for another time). This wasn’t the first time it happened. There was a span in elementary school that I was made to believe she had just abandoned my sister and I. Come to find out years later that she had tried to contact us and the messages just seemed to disappear in transit.
The last time I saw my mom, I was in 7th grade and was actually living with her again. It was short lived.. maybe half of the school year before I was back with my dad and in  that abusive house I knew so well. That is not this story though. I will save that for another time.
I am in 10th grade living with my aunt and uncle, who saved my life. Seriously though… I probably would have become a very different person had it not been for their normalcy.
We took a road trip that year and ended up in South Lake Tahoe, where my mom, stepdad, 2 sisters and brother lived. Kimmy(my aunt) was encouraging and said I should say hi…  but what do you say to your mom after not speaking for three years?  “Hey Mom!… Hi?… it’s your long lost eldest daughter..” How do you start that conversion?
You see my dilemma…
Funny story. So we were camping a few blocks from their house in Tahoe. I thought I would ride my bike over there and just knock on the door and say “Surprise!”  Great idea right?
Knock knock. No one answers. I peak my eyes through the window to see if anyone is home. I knocked again… no answer. So, I hopped the fence to see if the back door was open. It wasn’t. I again, tried peaking into all the windows. It didn’t seem like anyone was home, so I biked back to the campground.
My memory gets kind of fuzzy here. I think we called my sister Kali. (I like to say I have been blessed with a bad memory.. it’s what’s keeps me positive after so many negative years- which are hard to remember)
I know we ended up talking on that trip because I learned that she did not live in that house I trespassed in a few hours earlier. Good thing no one was home! Haha
We met up on that trip. It was the first time I had seen them in 3 years! We all took a trip out on their boat to a secluded beach where we ate, napped, and floated on big lemon and lime rafts! From what I remember I would say it went quite well!
(From what Kali remembers, she said I had called them the Christmas before and she remembers it being the best Christmas ever. From what Kimmy remembers, she said I called them randomly with my first phone that she gave me for Christmas. So I am thinking that that may be the truth, especially since I really don’t remember the first conversation I had with them after those 3 years. It’s funny the things you do and don’t remember 12 years later.)
We went back to Walnut Creek and I started texting with Kali and continued talking to my mom.
That was a pivotal event in my crazy life…. to be continued…
Lesson Learned:   
Take chances. Always take chances. You will never regret a chance you took. Maybe you’ll learn a lesson but you will never regret it. There is always something good to be found in every situation.
You never know what can come when you pick up the phone or send an email. I started a relationship with my mom again, refound my sister, and started watching my youngest brother and sister grow up! 🙂
Things always work out. It might not be when you want it to, but it always does!
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